Celebrating 59 Years – Congratulations Mom and Dad!

This year Memorial Day was celebrated on the last Monday in May.

Fifty-nine years ago, Memorial Day was on a Saturday.

My father was on leave from the military.

The date was May 30, 1953.

The day my parents were married.

The maid of honor was my mother’s best friend, Rae.

The best man was my father’s brother, my Uncle Lupe.

They made a lovely wedding party. 

Don’t you agree?

It’s time to CELEBRATE!

Happy 59th Anniversary!

Congratulations Mom and Dad!

With much love from “all of us.”

May 30, 2012

Easter – Rejoice!

As I’ve previously written, there I’ve experienced many facets of  Easter.

  For me, Easter is a spiritual day to reflect on God’s great love for his people; a day that Christians around the world celebrate as their most sacred day, the day of Jesus’ resurrection.

My personal expression of Easter is best demonstrated in song.

Exultet, the Easter Proclamation is a centuries old prayer telling of God’s love throughout all of history, calling on all creation to give praise for the resurrection.

It’s sung only once a year, during the Easter Vigil Mass on Holy Saturday.

I’ve been privileged several times to sing Exultet.  The first time I was in my twenties.

I was going through some personal struggles.  I hadn’t been active in music ministry for a time.

I attended Palm Sunday mass and was last in line for Communion. When I turned to go to my seat I heard the priest call my name.  He asked me to come see him after mass. I said okay.

When we met he said he had a request.

“Cathy, it’s the week before Easter and we don’t have anyone to sing the Easter Proclamation.  Will you do it?”

I was astonished…and he must have seen this.  How would I do this in a week?  …was I even worthy?

“I know you can do this…your voice will fill this church…will you come to the Rectory?  I’ll walk you through it.”

The following week I was privileged to sing this prayer for the first time.  It gave me an important lesson during difficult times. You see, the first word of Exultet is REJOICE! 

This is what we are called to do.

The last time I sang Exultet I once again faced struggles.

My special needs daughter had a number of medical issues. I had other personal concerns, too. In all, it was a difficult, exhausting time.

I rehearsed but was very distracted. How would I focus?

I contemplated one of its many lines.

Let this place resound with joy, echoing the mighty song of all God’s people.

I thought of John, a wonderful young man who doesn’t speak.  He is vocal, however.  He sings in church with a groan that comes from deep within.  He inspired me.

Many people think special needs individuals like John and my daughter don’t have a voice.  This is so untrue. We often need to listen in a different way.

I thought, if every person everywhere sang like John we would hear the mighty song of all God’s people!

How would John sing this?  He would sing joyfully and allow the song to come forward freely.  I began to rehearse anew.

On the night of the Easter Vigil I voiced the ancient prayer that was being sung by cantors around the world.  A prayer that connects people through the ages.

Once again, I sang the word REJOICE!

Ever since then, during Lent I recall the Exultet. It comes naturally to me at this time of year.

I remember the call to rejoice!

Have a happy and blessed Easter!

Easter – The Day You Told Me You Had AIDS

The early 1990’s were a challenge.  At the end of 1990 and beginning of 1991 I was injured in two car accidents.  The first one wasn’t too bad, but I wasn’t fully recovered when the second, more severe accident happened.  Between those two accidents I was away from work for nine months.

It was Easter.  I was at my parent’s home.  After coming back from church my mom mentioned that she wanted to visit friends.  Honestly, I didn’t feel like visiting.  I often felt very tired.  Perhaps I was also feeling down because in the past I had been very active.  The injuries took that away from me. I was still adjusting.

We went to see our friends.  This was a family whose kids went to the same elementary school and church that we once attended.  Essentially we kids grew up together.

I hadn’t seen them in a few years.  Two of their three adult children, Jack and Diana, were there.

We spent time getting caught up.  Jack looked great.  He talked about taking care of himself.  When he said he’d been going to the gym I wasn’t surprised.  He looked fit.

We went outside on a beautiful spring day.

As we talked Jack told me very simply that he had AIDS.  He was focused on taking care of himself.  He was feeling alright but knew that could change at any time.   New drugs were being developed, but life expectancies at that time were only a few years after diagnosis.

When we said our good-byes we hugged each other tightly.  I kissed him on the cheek.

In 1993, Jack and I spoke before I moved to Northern California.  My body had reasonably recovered and I had a new job with my company.  We spoke very candidly.  When we said good-bye we both knew it was a real good-bye.  We were never going to see each other again in this life.

Jack was very talented. He had a great singing voice. He loved practical jokes and was quick-witted. In high school he helped me come out of my shell so that I had a part in a school play.  I couldn’t have done that without his encouragement.

In November of 1993 my mom called me to tell me Jack had died. Over the years I had sung at many funerals.  I sang for him, too, from the privacy of my apartment in Northern California.

Growing up, I saw Easter as a time to celebrate life and resurrection after the death brought by Good Friday. On that Easter Sunday, even though I had my own challenges, here was Jack living with a deadly disease.

It was probably the most unique Easter that I had ever experienced.  It was a profound time that still touches me to this day.

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This is my second post on the subject of Easter.  In case you didn’t see it, I also posted Easter Memories earlier today. I’ll finish this series tomorrow, on Easter Sunday.

Candle Lighter Award

I received a surprise today about my blog!  I was nominated for, and gladly accept the Candle Lighter Award created by Kate Kresse.  Here is a link to Kate’s blog where she explains more about this award.
http://believeanyway.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/creation-of-new-blog-award-the-candle-lighter-award/

Thank-you, Kate!

Take a moment to give someone support.  Be encouraging.  Edify…not only when you blog, but as often as you can…every day.

 

Letter to a (Former?) Bishop

This week the Los Angeles Archdiocese announced that a well-loved bishop resigned as he has fathered two children; they are now teenagers.

The announcement was brief but powerful.  It acknowledged that this is sad and disappointing; it recognized that the reaction and impact will be widespread.

I have been debating about writing this post as it is not my intent to start a debate about Catholic priests and marriage; nor is it my intent to start a debate on the history of scandals in the church.  That being said, I’m aware these comments may still be made.  I respect that.

The shock, sadness and dismay expressed throughout numerous communities are completely understandable.  My personal take on this may be different than some.  I have a short note to express to the former bishop. (Is that the right terminology for a bishop who has resigned?)

I met you before you were ordained.  We called you Gabby. I imagine that fewer people call you that now, but the part of me that is speaking to you is the young person from a parish in East Los Angeles.

You were a deacon in the parish where I was both a music minister and an active leader in the youth group.  Over the years I’ve recognized that I have my shortcomings.  There have been times when I fell and fell hard.  I struggled with the impacts of mistakes that I’ve made…but after reading the announcement of your resignation and why this has happened…well, this is very difficult to fathom.

I reflect back on those times, more than 30 years ago.  You typically had a smile on your face and a warmth that people appreciated.  You were excited to fulfill your vocation.

I have no doubt that back then you saw a road that was full of promise and opportunity to do good.  It’s difficult to comprehend the road that has led to this announcement.

Gabby, what happened? Can you help us understand this?

After your ordination you were assigned to another parish.  We met again briefly about 10 years later.  I had a lot on my mind and you listened intently to what I had to say.  That is my last personal memory of you. 

I am saddened that the work you have done over the years and the causes that you championed may now be called into question.  It is my hope that this can be placed in some type of perspective.

As much I have have been confused and disappointed, I wish you peace.  I pray that you have peace.

Such promise…

Gabby, what happened?

Start of 2012 – No New Year Resolutions Here

I just read a Facebook post by my sister.  Looks like she has a lot of milestones ahead and much to do in 2012.  She has a lot of energy and is very vibrant.  Good for her! Looks like her year will be filled with a lot of activities.

Funny how siblings can sometimes be so different!

I started the year quietly and slowly.  I would like to ease into the new year, but I know better.  I was away from work for the last week of the year.  It was been extremely relaxing.  I couldn’t have asked for more.

I know the moment I get back to work everything will take off very quickly.  My calendar will be full and I will be extremely busy.  I savor the moments of quiet whenever I can take them.

Years ago I decided not to make resolutions for the new year.  It turned out to be a significant decision.  I came to the realization that resolutions are not just for the new year. There is responsibility in this as decisions to improve one’s self are on-going. They can be made any day and renewed every day.

Sure, there are some things that I would like to do in the coming year.  I used to play music on a regular basis.  I stopped a couple of years ago.  I had lost the desire to play.  I had to let that part of me go for a time.

That part of me is stirring again.  It’s something that I suspect I will explore.  It doesn’t mean I’m inclined to play publicly as I had in the past; however, the fact that I’m sensing this part of me is important.  I need to listen to that.

There are also areas in my life where I could use a bit of a push.  I don’t need to make any resolutions.  These hurdles are staring me in the face so I just need to get moving! No surprises there.

I started this blog as one means of being creative.  I’m enjoying this expression.  I know I’ll continue.  I don’t expect to post every day, but weekly is do-able.  *Thank-you to all who follow my journey.*

I can’t predict what the new year will bring.  I’m okay with that.

You can call it a trust walk, or a faith walk.  It’s important for me to acknowledge this.  It’s at the center of who I am.

No matter what, when I wake up every morning I intrinsically know that I have one more day to bless and to be blest.

Have a safe and prosperous new year.  Make it a good one, no matter what you resolve to do.

Why is it hard to admit a mistake?

The WordPress topic of the day is “Why is it hard to admit a mistake?”

Interesting question!  I can approach this from several angles – professional, personal or spiritual.  Where to start?

Briefly, no one wants to admit a mistake professionally.  Mistakes in my line of work can be costly in terms of money and (company) reputation.  I also value my own reputation.  Being up front and admitting a mistake can actually keep a solid reputation intact.  Hard as it is to admit a mistake, in the long run this serves everyone best.

This brings me to the next idea.  Why is it hard?  Well, making a mistake, when it’s “a big one” can equate with the notion of failure.  Who wants to admit that they failed  and, maybe, caused disappointment? Who wants to leave themselves wide open for possible scrutiny?

I’ve had a sudden thought about recent stories in the news where lives have been ruined and people may be brought to justice because no one admitted they made a  mistake…hmmm…I’m not sure where to take that thought, but it makes me pause.  Many times we don’t understand the long-term ramifications when we make a mistake, and when we don’t admit it.

So what to do?  I was raised in a rather strict religious tradition.  We grew up with the teaching that some mistakes are sinful.  Can you think of this from a child’s point of view? Who want to be known as a sinner? We can be forgiven, but we must admit our mistakes.  Now, as an adult, I have a better understanding of this.  There can be freedom and forgiveness in terms of my own relationship with God.  On a personal level freedom and forgiveness can occur when the ones who hear the admission respond with love, understanding and an open heart.

This topic just started a brief but interesting dialogue with my husband.  We spoke of what it’s like to admit our mistakes to one another.  Neither of us wants to disappoint or hurt the other.  We also trust each other, and we know we’ll work through the ups and downs that life brings us.  We’ve also learned that, once “the crisis” has passed, a sense of humor can go a long way when someone admits a mistake!

My husband mentioned how he experienced relationships in the past where the admission of a mistake was met with hostility.  That statement grounds me.  I know I’ve experienced the same.  I can probably write an entire post on that statement.  It was a good perspective that I hadn’t considered.

This question makes me look at myself.  How do I respond when someone admits to me they made a mistake?  Am I willing to practice what I preach?  Hmmm…I can see that this question once again gives me pause.  I am hopeful but, as the topic indicates, this admission is not always easy!

My Special Girl…the Pure of Heart

Today in church there was a special blessing.  My daughter, her teachers and classmates who make up the Special Needs Faith Class would receive a blessing along with their families.  This is an important day as it shows the community that those with special needs are really present in our everyday lives, even if we don’t realize it.   It was also very early in the school year, so in a sense it was a way for people to celebrate the beginning of the new year.  It’s important for the community to recognize this.

Where the web is concerned I’ve always been protective of Mija.  I admit that. She’s a vulnerable person.  This is the first time I’ve ever written about this subject.  There are a lot of reasons for that.  Suffice to say for now that I felt this was important.

When we entered the church she sat quietly next to us.  A few minutes after the entrance song we were called to the front with other families.   The celebrant said, “They are special because they remind us by their love that we are to be loved, and that we are the ones who are in need of that love.”  I had never quite heard it that way but I agreed with that statement.  He later stated he was once a teacher of special needs children, and spoke of the impact they had on his life.

Many special needs people who have cognitive challenges live in the here and now.  They don’t understand the concept of “later.”  When Mija wants something, she does understand the words “Please wait.”  It’s once of the few phrases that she speaks.  Still, for the most part, she expects us to drop what we’re doing to take care of her needs.  When I’m tired this is particularly challenging.  It is an exercise in patience and humility.  I’m reminded of this every day.

With many special needs people “what you see is what you get,” meaning they don’t pretend about how they feel.  When they are happy you will know it.  When they are sad or angry you will know it. They don’t mask or pretend.  When you hear “Blessed are the pure of heart…” there is no greater demonstration of this than the special needs kids in Mija’s class.  They show you who they are at their very core.  It’s very profound because you find that you must rise up and respond in kind.

Someone once told me that everyone has a special need as we all lack something in our lives.

After the blessing the children and teachers returned to their classroom.  We were very proud of Mija.  This was the best she had ever done in church.  Other times she was restless or impatient.  This time she enjoyed looking around at everyone.

There are many stories to share but for now this is a start.  I’m grateful to the teachers and families of this special little community for all their support.  We are truly blest.