Mother and Child

 

This incredible photo is of two people I never knew, my grandmother Carmen’s friend,  Amalia, and her son Raymond.  I found the photo last year in my mom’s “treasure chest.”

My grandmother and Amalia lived in the same Los Angeles neighborhood in the 1930’s.

When I first saw the photo I simply could not stop looking at it.

I was struck by the peaceful beauty that emanates from this portrait as baby Raymond gently fingers the pearl necklace while cradled in Amalia’s embrace.

For me, Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate and honor all women who nurture and care for others.

May you be blest this day and always.

- Cathy

Easter 2013 –Through Our Daughter’s Eyes

Last Sunday, the lesson in my daughter’s Special Needs Faith Class was Palm Sunday, Holy Week and Easter.

I couldn’t have expressed it better…

A depiction of Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter from our Mija’s Special Needs Faith Class.

May you have a blessed and peaceful Easter.

May God bless you this Easter and always.

Alleluia!

A Chance Encounter

For the past few weeks my Saturday morning routine has been rising early and heading out to the gym to enjoy a workout with a trainer, and then a swim.

As usual, one recent training session was challenging but also very satisfying.  Afterwards I changed into my swimsuit and headed for the pool.

I wasn’t sure how much I was going to swim since my legs were tired from the workout.  Still, swimming calms and revitalizes me.  I might not complete an hour of laps but I’d still enjoy whatever time I spent in the water.

Goggles on, I pushed off the wall, extended my arm overhead and began the backstroke, my breathing in sync with the rhythm of my strokes.

When I was finished I didn’t want to get out of the water.  It was cool, soothing and relaxing.

I looked at the  whirlpool, so inviting.  I hadn’t been in one in ages.  Because of some medical limits I’m not able to immerse myself fully in the heated water.  I decided to sit on the top step.

Ah…the hot water felt wonderful on my legs!

Soon two gentlemen entered.  We exchanged polite greetings and made small talk.  Apparently the two men knew each other from time spent at the gym.

Suddenly one gentleman started talking about hard times and being unemployed.  Then the topic changed.

“Lonely.  I just feel so lonely.  My wife said she was moving out…I asked her why…she really didn’t say too much…I asked her if she still loved me…was there anyone else?  She said she needed space.”

  “I really miss her.”

He went on to say that he was staying busy by applying for jobs, and that, he was recently hired to work a night shift.  He said it wasn’t full time but perhaps if he was busy it would take his mind off his troubles, and his loneliness.

I sat there quietly, simply listening, then as I got up to leave I wished him well.

His response was surprising.  He said, “It’s nice people like you who wish me well that help me to keep going.  Sometimes when I start talking people look very uncomfortable and they just walk away.  I appreciate that you listened, and I appreciated your good thoughts.”  I just smiled and said I was glad that he felt it was helpful.

I got out of the pool to get my towel.  I heard his companion say, “I’m going to pray for you.”  …and as I gathered my thoughts and belongings I turned and saw the gentleman, dripping wet, kneeling outside of the pool.  He laid his hand on his friend, and began to pray.

It was a powerful, visible gesture of one individual reaching out to help lift the burden of loneliness from another human being.

It was a chance encounter as I ordinarily head home after a swim.  As I left the gym I looked around and saw people of all ages, shapes and sizes.  People were pumping iron, running or walking on treadmills, stretching gingerly, riding bicycles and using other equipment.

As I looked around at all the activity I considered that each person has their own story.

It was an important reminder not to be judgmental.

I was fortunate that a stranger chose to share his story with me.

I was grateful to listen.

**********

To find out more about Bloggers for Peace, click the badge!

Happy Birthday, Sis!

One of my siblings is celebrating a birthday!

Rosemarie

My sister, Rosemarie…Rosie…Rose…”Tita”

Rosemarie and Bob

Over the years we’ve had many adventures…

Rosemarie and Anita

…like the time I drove my stick-shift VW beetle (solo) for the first time…we drove around the corner for a few blocks and I said, “Oh… I hope that light doesn’t turn red!!!”

Rosemarie and Joey

…like trying on crazy sunglasses in the mall, following my mom around and saying really loudly, “Hey Mom! Do you like these?!”

Rosemarie and Linda

…like laughing and giggling in the middle of the night until my father would say, “Go to sleep!” then looking at each other and giggling some more!

Rosemarie and Alfred

 

Even though we now live miles apart we will always be very close.

Linda, Joe, Alfred, Rosemarie, Bob and Anita

Happy Birthday Sis!

Acts of Love and Kindness

As some of you know, my daughter attends a class on Sunday in which a special education teacher and several aides teach a faith formation class for children with special needs.  It is a model program that is beginning to expand to other churches in our area.

Banner for Special Needs Faith Formation. The children’s handprints surrounds the face of Jesus.

One thing my daughter’s teacher does at the start of every year is give every student a little book, the type that holds photographs.  What’s amazing is the content of the book.

Every week the students are given an index card to place inside the book.  Each index card has a picture on it representing the theme for the week, based off the readings that will be proclaimed in church that week.

The purpose of the card is for parents to write an act of love that their child performed during the week.  Then during class, the teacher shares each child’s act of love with the class.

An index card with a hand-drawn picture from my daughter’s faith formation class. The picture of two children reminds them of how much they are loved.

Years ago when we first were handed the little book we thought, what would we write?

Our daughter is autistic, so she doesn’t share her world easily.  She doesn’t give hugs, open doors for others, or volunteer for anything.  She doesn’t give compliments because she doesn’t speak.

How would we define an act of love when we look through her eyes?

That’s when Al and I realized we needed to go beyond external examples that are seen by most people.

We needed to see her for who she is, and how much joy she can bring.

Our daughter’s smile can be very infectious. She is clearly enjoying herself as she relaxes in a swimming pool.

The teachers at the Sunday school class are very kind.  They always tell me they look forward to reading  Mija’s card.

You see, I decided to write a thank-you to her every week.

I thank-her for making someone smile, for being able to enjoy her infectious laughter, for sitting still in her medical appointments, for simply being who she is.  I thank her for being our daughter.

As a result, we now have several books with cards carrying concrete reminders of how our daughter is able to spread love and kindness.  We can look back on them with very fond memories.

There are times when we’re not sure what makes our daughter laugh. We’re just happy to see that she does this!

So now, I want to ask you to think about the people around you.  It’s so easy to focus on negative things that someone can say or do.

Why not focus instead on the acts of love and kindness that others do?

What acts of love and kindness surround you every day?

I can assure you, you’ll begin to see the world in a different way when you acknowledge acts of love and kindness rather than acknowledging the negative ways that people treat one another, or speak to one another.

Sure, everyday life is not always kind.  I know that.  I see the looks that people give my child.  There are many cruel realities. Still, I don’t have a lot of time on this earth (who does?) to spend that time fostering negative, pessimistic thoughts and actions.

This simple exercise to look for acts of love and kindness every week has taught my husband and me to focus on the good that our daughter can exude.

It has taught us that we can look at our little  household and see acts of love and kindness reflected everyday in one another.

…and as you probably know, love and kindness beget love and kindness…

Al and Mija walk hand-in-hand down a hospital corridor as she gets ready for a test. She finds great comfort in holding her father’s hand.

Pause a moment.  Look around you.  What acts of love and kindness do you see every day?  Don’t focus on the negative.  

Take another pause, especially before you do or say something to someone else.

What acts of love and kindness will you perform today?

Al and Mija share a moment of love and kindness.

Special Notes!

- Thank-you, to Ms. Kay for teaching us all about the “Acts of Love” movement!

- To find out more about Bloggers for Peace, click the badge!

A Warm Winter Stroll

Winter does not mean a snowy, cold climate to me.

Where I live, the weather is generally warm or hot.

Winter means there are very brief spells of “cold” weather,

then the temperature rises and becomes comfortable again.

Yes, “cold” is a relative term!

Yesterday, I took a quick break from work and decided to take a walk.

My workplace is comprised of several buildings that surround a natural area.

The grounds are very well kept.

The walking path to the buildings wher I work surround a natural area. Many people walk the circular path for exercise when the weather is pleasant!

Many people regularly walk the path that surrounds this open area.

It’s a pleasant way to spend a few minutes away from a hectic, busy desk!

Some of the paths between the buildings are not paved. It’s a testament to those who designed this location that the natural habitat was left intact in many areas.

I approached beds of roses, and saw they were blooming!

As I came closer to them I was amazed by what I saw!

Two bees share the nectar of a lovely pink rose.

Bees and bugs abounded!

I was just delighted.

Three bees are rather busy, jostling each other on a pink rose that is open and fully exposed.

I took a number of photos,

then decided to simply stand still and appreciate all the activity.

A cucmber beetle relaxes on the petals of a pink rose as a bee decides to go to work.

Butterflies migrating to other locations quenched their thirst before continuing on their journey.

It was very calming to watch them.

A painted lady butterfly enjoys dandelion nectar before heading back on its migratory path.

Was it really winter?

Believe it or not, it really was!

Another Glimpse into Her World and Ours

In my last post my husband and I shared our thoughts on our daughter and her many limits.  The replies we received amazed us.  Many of them left me thoughtful.

I realized I still had a lot to express, so I’m continuing the topic.  This post incorporates some of my replies to your comments along with other thoughts that have been on my mind.

Before I go much further, let me first say thank-you for the heartfelt replies.  Your support and warmth were quite evident and even overwhelming.

In my prior post, you met my daughter who delights us and challenges us. You also learned she has numerous limits.

Our daughter received this Hawaiian floral print hat several years ago. It has since become her favorite. She wears it inside the house every day. It’s part of her routine and it makes her happy when she’s wearing it.

Yes, we’re a very happy family. Still, our lives are far from perfect. Some days it seems we’re on the ground looking up at a big hill…and it’s not always easy to climb. Still, the three of us get through challenges together.

What I can say is, we’ve learned over the years to roll with the ups and downs that are bound to occur. For example, in the very near future our daughter will experience an annual medical test.  The day will be stressful (let me be clear that this is quite the understatement).  Al and I have already been talking about the best way to prepare in order to make the day easier.  We know what to expect and we have to be ready.

Dad and daughter share a quiet moment. For many years our daughter carried these cylindrical pool toys, or straws wherever she went. She eventually gave them up but we couldn’t say why.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that each of us has limits.

This means letting go of various trappings.  Al manages the household and does a great job.  He gets our daughter where she needs to be.  I work outside the home.  I am able to do what I do because Al does what he does.  We had to pursue our strengths and let our better half manage the areas where we have our limits.

Al is the cook, butler, driver, messaging service, laundry servicer, body-guard and all round good guy!

We’ve  met many incredible people who have supported us, too many to name!

We have become fast friends with many people who provided services to us. By going to the salon to have her hair and her nails done, our daughter has learned to be patient during appointments, and, also to be more social. We couldn’t have done this without you!

We’ve met many other families who are in similar situations.  They are also in need of support.

It’s as if there is a hidden population in our society. In general people with limits are often not heard. It is not glamorous or “out there” for people to acknowledge. This is the reality that many families

These are generic picture images that are often used in classrooms and with special tools for communications. One important thing to considered is that there may be real people represented by these symbols.

We’ve also learned to recognize and celebrate small victories whenever they occur.

Our daughter was slowly stepping into a pool to get ready for a swimming lesson. She was excited to be there and she let us know it!

I’m glad that my post allowed a peak into a world that many people don’t often see.

We don’t have a clue why the bananas needed to be set straight. Still, I’m sure that our daughter took care of whatever was out of place!

I wrote this post under the tag B4PEACE so it would show as part of Bloggers for Peace.

In addition to showing an example of peace and love within a family, I also want people to realize that one of the elements of a peaceful environment is tolerance…and special needs individuals can teach us so much about this.

A peaceful, happy home. It doesn’t get much better than that!

At one point when I was typing a long reply I was barely able to hear anything because my two housemates were in the midst of a fit of laughter.  I’m typically the quiet one of the bunch.  I was happy to just watch and revel in the moment.

*********

To read more about my daughter please see my page entitled “Special Needs.”

To find out more about Bloggers for Peace, click the badge!